Rex Ryan Pretending To Be A Reporter Is Exactly Why I Miss/Hate Rex Ryan

"Walt Patulski" brought a hard-hitting question today for Julian Edelman from the Bills media room. 😂

A video posted by Buffalo Bills (@buffalobills) on

 

Fuck do I miss Rex, His fat ass just barging into a media conference call with Julian Edelman and pretending to be Walt Patulski like its no fucking big deal is AMAZING. But this also proves that Rex hasn’t learned a damn thing since his time as Jets coach and as much as I love this move I would fucking hate it if I was a Bills fan. You know who doesn’t do stuff like this? Every successful sports coach ever. As much fun as he’s having and for how funny Rex is, he doesn’t match it with hard work and discipline. I would never in my life want to see Rex or Walt Patulski coach my football team again and its because my heart cannot take the weekly 12 men on the field penalty or use all timeouts and challenges with only 10 minutes left in the third quarter. Rex is like an ex girlfriend, you love him from afar and you love watching him hurt someone else for once.

PS: WALT PATULSKI IS A FIRE FAKE NAME

Tecate Mocks Trump With Wall Commercial

Just fantastic self aware marketing here by Tecate and I am honestly stunned Corona hasn’t already done this. This wall thing is so typical Trump because its a preposterous thought but guess what? Just like everything Trump does its become a phenomenon and there is nothing that will stop this. But the scary thing is, I think people really really really expect this wall now, so if Donald gets in the Oval Office he better begin working on that wall ASAP or people are gonna be pissed. One thing I never understood is why Beer companies can get away with anything marketing wise even though our society is more sensitive than ever. If Hillary made a commercial of her mocking the wall like this people would lose it and be outraged, but since this is a beer company its all good. Its proof that alcohol really does make everything better.

Guy Gets His Dick Bitten By A Spider For The Second Time This Year

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  • The two-time loser, known only as “Jordan,” was bitten Tuesday while sitting on a port-a-potty at a worksite in Sydney, according to the BBC.
  • It marked the first time he had used a portable toilet since April 27 when he was ― yes, you guessed it! ― bitten on his penis by a poisonous spider.
  • “I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time,” Jordan told the BBC. “I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”-HuffingtonPost

This is so Australian right? Like people in America get their penis bitten all the time by like animals and people but to get it bitten twice means you’re either in Florida or Australia. After reading this, I feel like spiders are everywhere and there is nothing we can do about it especially if you believe the story that you swallow like 9 spiders a year while you sleep too. As for the dick eating spider thing what is the right play for this guy? If I am him, I wait it out and stop peeing for awhile take a break and get mentally right, just go get a catheter and then you can get workers comp and not have to work for awhile. Kinda like when a QB throws like 10 picks in 3 games and he just needs a mental break and thats all. Do you think In Sydney they even care about injuries? Like I feel like in Australia if I was shot and bleeding out some guy with a shaved head would be like “Ok Mate Don’t Be A Wallaby, Suck It Up & Drink A Foster’s”.

 

Cowboy’s Cheerleader Has A WILD Big Toe

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I have looked at this pic over and over again and I still do not really get what is going on here. This big toe is the big toe to end all big toes, it is on its own little island out there and I don’t think gravity even applies to that big toe like its just floating out there in orbit. A gross toe can absolutely ruin any human being whatsoever including a smokeshow like this cheerleader. It almost looks like she was born with 6 toes and then the second big toe was removed because it was just too much to bear. I once knew a girl who had the nastiest most beat up feet ever and I legit just couldn’t get those dogs out of my head and it eventually mind fucked me so bad that I had to ghost the whole situation. Now, that girl was cute but not gorgeous like this one so obviously a toe situation on a smoke is a little different but still. There should be some sort of checklist that all people need to complete, like we need to figure out body odor issues, toe problems and all personal hygiene before you should be allowed to go out in public.

Guy Pays 26K To Look Like David Beckham

I really can’t completely hate on this move because when you look like a foot like myself you really gotta try to make lemonade with whatever you got and if that means spending 20k+ on looking better than go for it. But what I have a problem with is the guy he chose to emulate, you cannot try to look like the king of handsome David Beckham it is pure blasphemy. The other problem I have with this douchebag is the money he is willing to spend, 20K will not get you to Beckham handsome, that is just not reasonable because if it were possible every ugly guy on earth including myself would have done this years ago. 20K will get me to look like fucking Jon Favreau, now if you wanna get David Beckham looks you need to drop atleast a couple million end of story. Looking at this guy he should of tried to look like James Corden, A funny, charismatic guy who people love and for 26K they probably could of gotten him close but as usual people aren’t self aware and shoot themselves in the foot while shooting for the stars.

So yeah I guess I do hate him..FUCK THIS GUY.

Gorgeous Muslim Girl Wearing Hijab Featured In Playboy

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  • Noor Tagouri, a Libyan American journalist, appears in the October issue
  • Reporter dreams of being first hijab-wearing anchor on national US TV
  • Has campaigned online and in a TED Talk to encourage others to embrace their identities and pursue their dreams
  • Playboy picked her as one of their 2016 Renegades about rule breakers
  • Tagouri’s spread has received backlash but she says she ignores critics-DailyMail

This girl is fucking beautiful but I do not get how people freak out about anything that is in Playboy now. Playboy doesn’t have its fastball anymore, its the Bartolo Colon of magazines, it doesn’t have the nudity and now it relies on deception and wit to move the needle. This Libyan girl is super pretty but I do not get one thing about the hijab, why do young girls wear them? I researched what a hijab is, and I guess it is to signify that this woman is sanctified by one man. So isn’t that kinda fucked up? Like to treat your woman as property and to cover her up like that, ok so lets say you’re into it and you’re 22 years old like this girl if she is single why is she wearing it? Cause she isn’t sanctified by one man, fuck I think I just made my mind explode, I need clarity cause I obviously do not get how this whole Hijab thing works. Every time I see a hijab, I still think of the Curb when LD tries to figure out how a completely covered Muslim woman eats french fries. Does she pull the whole thing down and leave it for after the fry session or does she pull down and pull up with each fry?

 

Tom Hanks Photobombs A Wedding In Central Park

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Is Tom Hanks moving into that Bill Murray category? Cause if he is, that is SHOCKING NEWS. I always felt that Tom Hanks was a stiff but for a couple years he is always surprised me with his ability to be a normal dude and to just try to be as humble as possible. Like do you think Brad Pitt would ever stop and muck it up with us simple folk? Not a chance  Him and Leo would walk right by this couple and go fuck 4 Latvian models down at the Soho House and they’d probably steal one of these wedding photographers cameras to take pics during the orgy. Not Hank’s though, he is in that perfect part of life that he can toe the line between superstar and just old dude having fun and he could probably still goto Soho House and just crush pussy at any time cause he is Forrest Gump and you’re not.

PS: Favorite Tom Hanks Movie is Turner & Hooch and it is not debatable.

Rob Kardashian Puts Out Kylie Jenner’s Phone Number

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During the debates last night this occurred and I think this is front page news in itself. Rob putting out Kylie’s number is a savage fucking move and I am stunned this doesn’t happen more often. Like the only privacy or thing celebrities really have that no-one but insiders know is their cell phone number and for Rob to just blast out Kylie like this is an absolute head shot. Now the real question is does Kylie respond? If so, how does she? I say her and Tyga go straight up Tupac “Hit Em Up” And Tyga talks about fucking Blacchyna and trannys on a diss track. On a serious note though, how does everyone not bring that up to Tyga or Kylie every second of every interview they do? Like yes Kylie I love your lip kits but you know who loves Transexuals almost as much as I love your lip kits? Your boyfriend Tyga. For now Rob won this battle but do not sleep on Kylie to go for the throat and like murder Rob, because outside of a cell phone number and social media what do the Kardashians have? Like their talent is in that phone and without the iPhone they’re useless its kinda like their Ironman suit and without it they are defenseless.

So Can We All Agree Angels In The Outfield Occurred Last Night In Miami?

Just amazing, @deeg5599. #JDF16

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This happened last night and this was flat out unreal to experience and watch. I am a diehard Mets fan and obviously I want to make the playoffs and continue the season but for fucks sake I almost started crying as Dee Gordon went deep 3 pitches into the game last night. It has been truly amazing to see the emotions from EVERYONE in the dugout of both teams and it really just puts it into perspective what kind of guy Jose Fernandez was. Like I don’t think we have ever seen someones death do this, at least not in the last decade and I really do believe that Dee Gordon had some sort of angel looking over him as he swung last night. Dee Gordon never hits home runs or hits for power period and then he’s launching a ball into the upper decks of the biggest ballpark in the MLB? I am not a huge God guy but fuck, last night the Marlins/God beat the Mets 7-3 and if you don’t agree with that you’re a douche period stop. As for the Mets, we gotta win the next two and pray the Giants and Cards do not get hot, but for today lets just enjoy the emotional display we saw last night because it was really something.

My Takeaways From Last Night’s Debate

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What an interesting, wild night. But I cannot lie, I was a little disappointed that they didn’t really duke it out like I thought they would. Unlike others, I actually loved the moderating because they were actually able to interact with one another as oppose to letting the moderator become the middle man and the candidates never speaking 1 0n 1. I thought Hillary got the best of Donald in round 1 but Hillary used every bullet she had Ex: Tax Return, Discrimination Lawsuit, Attacks on Woman, Agreeing With the War In Iraq. So last night, you had Hillary winning the first debate using every piece of ammo she had while Donald didn’t use any of his ammunition Ex: Benghazi, Clinton Foundation, Bill Clinton’s presidency and infidelity. So this sets up for a monster 2nd Debate in mid October and it’ll get way rougher than anything we have ever seen. The reason I think Hillary won the first debate was because she is the polished politician and she just Mayweather’d her way through the 90 mins just slipping punches and letting Donald spin his wheels. While Donald spun his wheels and became frustrated he definitely came off as dumb and unable to make a point and that is a bad look. But on the flip side, am I the only person who doesn’t get how Hillary acts as if she hasn’t been in politics forever? Like she always says “we need to do better”. Ummmmmm haven’t you been at the top of our political system for 20+ years? Where the fuck you been? Thats like me fucking a girl and then being like yeah we need to have better sex…umm I am the problem the sex sucks. So for those at home Hillary is up 1-0 and who knows what Donald has in store next debate.