Tonights, the night. TV ratings are gonna be Super Bowl sized as Hillary and the Donald step into the ring for the first time. So I figured I would type up what each candidate will need to do to win the first debate.
Here are Hillary’s Keys To Victory
- Get Donald Angry: This is such an important thing for Hillary. She needs to go attack him early and often and she needs to pray he goes below the belt ASAP to make him look like an inhumane bully.
- Have Comebacks Ready: What I mean by this is, once you get Donald angry and he throws a hysterical 8th grade comeback at you. She MUST be ready to throw one back. Hillary cannot be George Constanza in the Jerk Store episode just sitting in silence taking it.
- MEDICATION, MEDICATION, MEDICATION: Hillary cannot have some pneumonia slip up things tonight. Load her up on Xanny bars and let that bitch fly because she cannot go Weekend at Bernie’s and slip up at the podium because then she is toast.